Sept 10th 2008 - Home, Healing and Healthy

Hi Everyone,

I have been home for almost 4 weeks now. I have had no interest in anything really hence the reason I haven't updated my blog yet until today. I am healing VERY slowly. I am ready to be back to normal but it's going to be a bit still. I still have a lot of belly pain and incision pain. I am still having some other issues but are a little to personal to mention. The thing that makes all this worth it is that I am cancer free. This ordeal began 6 months ago and I have begun to realize it really will never be over. I realized that at about 9:45am yesterday morning as I was lying on the table in my Dr's office waiting for her to come do my first postop pap smear. I didn't realize that I would be having one until I got there yesterday and was shocked to realize that I was terrified of the results. So as I have done in the past I am waiting for the results to tell me whether or not I am still cancer free or has it come back already. My prayer is that it is still cancer free but until I know for sure I am nervous about it but until I hear otherwise I am cancer free!!!!!!

Somedays I still can't believe that I won't ever be pregnant and give birth to our child. It actually doesn't hurt as bad as I though it would. I think because of the cancer God showed me something more important then having my own baby and that was living. Bottom line is I wasn't ready to go yet, I have too many things left I want to do with my life. Rich and I have been married for 14 1/2 years and I want to have many more with him. At this point in time we don't want to adopt. That may change a year or so from now and until that time comes that we make that final decision we are going to enjoy just being together and we are going to enjoy spoiling our nieces which as of right now we have 3 with another on the way. My best friend Amanda found out she is pregnant - due in April. Rich and I happily accept the honorary Auntie and Uncle role. We already love that little one and can't wait for it to come. We count our blessings in the number of nieces (and hopefully at some point some nephews) that we have and hope to have.

Life is strange in the hand that we are dealt, sometimes we get a good hand, sometimes we don't but at least in my case I got the chance to say "hit me again"

Until next time I hope you all are happy, healthy and loving your family.

Love Shell